I do not want to lose weight…and I am only fat.

It came to me in a public place. A jucuzzi at the back of a fancy hotel on the San Diego Harbor. I dont want to lose weight, just body fat.

I remember that as a teenager, all I wanted to do was to get huge. From 7th grade to 12th grade I was in the gym 3x a week pumping iron. I did everything I could, from a subscription to the top 3 muscle mags to actually taking tons of supplaments. I even did steroids for a good time. No matter what I did I coulnd not gain weight.  I was in my prime just after the army at a lean 185 pounds. Looking back on the photos I thought I was pretty good looking. But I looked small. Lean but small.

If only I was 17 again I would have killed to have the foundation I have now. The resources to even better diets and excercise. More access to supplements and the money to buy them. As a kid I had to ask mom and dad but now I don’t. So why have I been trying so damn hard to lose wieght? When all I need to do is work with the body I have. I am an Endomorph. A big boy. If I just simply stopped eating certain foods I could realistically eat all I want. I will have to pay the price at the gym.

I know that muscle burns fat. I need more muscle. I actually know how to get it. I just looks under this layer of fat. So as of today I am a bodybuilder. I have actually have always been one, I just went into retirement. So know after the longest bulking phase in the history of the sport I’m back. BeefCake!

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