I figured it out and I can only discuss it here

WIN_20150105_212921

For years the little voices in me have come out of the same place, my mouth. It was not until I developed a character as a businessman that I became conflicted with being the boy I grew up as and the man that I was becoming. I wanted to be both.

I struggled to find multiple web domains that would help me identify the culmination of the two in a word. Then I found out that there was a third person in the mix. He was to be the middle man between the conflict. I went as far as to label them as individuals. I created a trifold brochure to make sense of it. I am not shitting you I have the page to prove it. My wife laughs about it to this day.

Regardless I found the labels to be variations of the boy, the adolescent and the man. Three very different punctuations in the timeline of my life and they all lived in the abyss of my mind. There was Jimmy the child. There is Jim the adolescent and then James The Man. All three very distinct and unique talents and flaws.  Maybe one day I will spend time blogging about it. Maybe. Blogging. I kind of hate that word because I was blogging when it was called pen and paper journaling.

I just have to find my voice and get used to it. I did however find a moment when I was writing on my tablet with a pen and I wrote one thing. I am no longer comfortable writing in a journal with pen. I realized that I was able to type faster than I was able to write.

I also saw that I had actually created these identities as authors. Then as I write I will decide the author and the reader without blocking the flow of ideas by worrying about what others think about me. I think I overthink it. You think?

Leave a Reply