I dreamt last night that Donald Trump came to my door to discuss the polar ice caps. Perhaps it was because I found myself yesterday playing google earth looking for the most north and south ends of the earth. In the dream a consultant approached him On my porch and was pointing out that the North Pole and south pole were almost gone. As I was watching a time lapse of the event on thier tablet I began to worry. Moments later I was sitting with my wife describing the event and how screwed we were. I was leaning over a slab of slushy ice in my pool swirling it with a stick knowing this very cluster was the last of it. Like I was God and it was my job to keep it cold knowing it was not going to happen. She was continuing a normal conversation about work and I kept insisting that it did not matter and that in our lifetime we were going to see the earth’s end. I was not afraid more than I was upset that I did not create enough great works. That I was not legendary for my existence on this earth. As I battled with this raging in my mind I was also torn realizing that none of the human race mattered after the extinction. Regardless of our contributions.
It was a strange and curious clash between use and uselessness. That I would spend a lifetime trying to be a great person of good will and minor contribution to the art world and creativity and that I was no more valued than a serial killer locked up in a prison for life..or what was life of life on earth. Which was not long at all.
I thought about the love I made and the love I shared were emotions that I shared with others and that if there was nothing left to feel after death then what would be there?
I have a theory of what the afterlife is like and how our efforts may matter here but then again maybe they won’t. I compare it to an experience I had once in the dentist chair during a root canal. Funny right? Life after death epiphany from laughing gas.
There I was deep into what could only be described as the most intense introspective journey into the selfless mind with no concern for pain or pleasure. Just thoughts filled with emotions that had no sensations that the body and the elements could affect. Like a waking dream that I was able to control. A stark contrast from the dreams we have that allow anything to happen unless we practice lucid dreaming. Which I do, most often unsuccessful.
A thought enter my mind. “The dentist could take out a saw right now and cut off my arm and I would not even care. I do not need it in the world I am in.” Immediately a rush of panic flowed through my body. I was have a full blown panic attack with a drill in my mouth and I was convinced that I was going to die and that they had given me way too much gas. That my heart was going to explode. As I lay there paralyzed with fear I knew I had to calm myself back down and enjoy the high. I was indeed a very bad trip and I did not have a guide to talk me out of it.
My body was tense and the fear was crushing. Yet somehow I was staring into they eyes of the dental crew knowing they had no clue what psychosis I was enduring. To them they were at work performing a routine procedure on a patient. They would clean up and bill me only to repeat the process with someone else in the very same chair. I believed that this experience had to be unique. I have grown up inside the mind of a high functioning autistic genius. The HFA is self diagnosed and the genius is well documented in legend.
As my body began to relax once again I was able to immediately reflect on the fear that gripped me just moments ago. The calming effect was so serene that it took on a whole new revelation on the relationship with my mind, this body, and its surroundings. I began to understand that the vessel I was living in was built to suit one purpose. To train for wisdom that I can has in the afterlife or the after. Having the ability to feel physical pain and pleasure was a way to teach and enlighten the spirit that existed a a form of quanta. Or can I say non form of quanta. It was the seperation of the elemental and the mental.
There was a dissolving effect that became a part of the universe that intertwined with everything that ever was in the form of an echo. Just like the ripples of a pond after a pebble is tossed in, I was the pond. And so was everything else. I was the center of the vibration feeling only one wavelength. It was only pleasure and absolutely no pain. As I pondered the possibility of the worst things that could happen in this physiscal realm I was observing and I could not incite any feelings of fear or hate or regret or remorse. There was no way for me to imagine loss or gain, pleasure or pain. Just bliss. A bliss in knowing that once I was in this space that the pain of any moment in the elemental realm would not be remembered and if it was it would not be felt. It would only be known.
It was an infinite wisdom of all things from how the birds fly to how the bees pollinate. I was the pollen that grew the flowers and it was the sun that warmed the petals. I was the wind and the rain. I was the hurricane and I was the eye of the storm. I had a distinct and intuitive perception that this was not only the best possible world and that this was the best possible life but that there was also another. I understood that everything I was doing here on earth would manifest itself in a reflections that only I could see once I had passed out of the body. This awareness was silent a beautiful. Like sitting on a cliff on a warm summer day overlooking the ocean. It was snatching a yellow flower from the grass and not necessarily looking at it but rather holding it between your thumb and forefinger and allowing it to rest delicately in place. Then rolling the stem along the your fingertips. The soft yet firm fuzzy follicles that coat the green shaft filling the valleys of your fingerprints. Contemplating the moments that have passed and the beauty of this one.
I was living in the afterlife and yet I was alive. I was standing in the doorway looking at only what could be described as the boundaries of imagination. It was bliss. I believe that in the life after death there is only bliss. I believe that although the in this life we can be punished and rewarded by our actions in the form pain and pleasure we will not be punished or rewarded in the afterlife. There is no afterlife just after thought. Only a transition to blissfullness. We will exist in the universe in a formless matter or non matter that has only one “feeling”. Joy. It is love. Those who have disregarded the opportunity to capture more moments in this life will not be penalized. They will just not be able to understand this energy that is far more vibrant then they are. Or are not. Because this element is not it is also. Those who perpetuate evil or hatred will not have in this realm. They will only have not. There existence will one day be forgotten but there forever bliss will be that of a cheap flashlight with old batteries that requires a smack on its side to work rather than that of the energy of a thousand suns. Forced to exist in the shadows and an echo of what they do remember was thier only chance at laying a foundation for forever. It will not be a cry but a sigh.
Once we leave the earth we will be able to see and sense the world we left behind but it will be without the sensation that we know as hurt or regret. It will be the ability to stand in the a fire and feel the warmth but not get burned. Those blessed in the after will be blessed in this life. Not because we are special but because we specialize in actively being special. Not that we dedicate our lives in the relentless pursuit to end war and cure the world of disease or end hunger. Some of us are not built like that. This is what makes us unique. We are able to experience our own form of satisfaction and share our interpretation of love with others as we see best suited to provide glimpses of bliss.
We cannot fear and we should not hate. We cannot worry about the polar ice caps but we can try to do something about it if that is what matters to you. The degrees of how this affect relates to your interest in experiencing and perpetuating bliss is different for everyone. Some have less interest in contribution. This is not bad or good. It is only that you ignorantly exist in this life not knowing that there will be great pleasure in the after. Unlike a dream there will be no nightmare or torment. There will only be varying degrees of love and bliss. We will be able to look at the creation and understand the lack thereof. It will not hurt it will just not seem better. There will be no high or low but only varying degrees of comfort. We will seek the opportunity to capture higher higher states of joy but it will be unfulfilled and yet not empty.
This is why we feel a sense of loss when we lose a loved one. We know they existed and yet they are non existent. Still the echo of thier spirit lives on in our hearts as if we are holding a candle in the window preparing thier return. When in fact it is they that hold a light guiding us to live this life in memory of theirs. Not only honoring the friendship but paying respects by injecting the energy in our cells to stand up and live more because we are dying too soon. And soon enough we will basque side by side and as one in the after. We just have to wait.
Trust me your on the waiting list. Your number will be called.
Be patient. Be ready. Be diligent in the pursuit of all things great for greatness awaits.
Similar to this life in that we seek out forms of pleasure and avoid that which causes pain. Some of us can find satisfaction in complacency and feel comfort in mediocrity. While others are never satisfied with the moment. There are those who seek thrills in the form of a drug or a or a deal. There are those who find it with lack of and others by giving. There are those who starve and there are those who fast. Each one of us has a chance to experience the 6th sense. Intuition by knowing the 5 senses. That which only exists in constant grasping at connecting the element and the elemental while feeling both pleasure and satisfaction. If we are able to experience this joy and discover how we can enhance it by sharing this experience in real time with those who matter is the purpose of life and the reason to live. Regardless of you past and the moment that continues to creating a non existent future we have a choice to make now.
Although the polar ice caps are likely to melt by no fault of our own other than speeding it up a bit we cannot avoid knowing that we are all screwed. Life’s a bitch and then you die so fuck the world and let’s get high. Not in the sense of rolling a joint and sitting on the couch but more like rolling out of bed and creating a moment worth remembering in the afterlife.