Our existence comprises of three of the most beautiful occurrences.
I was watching a movie last night called Mr. Nobody with Jared Leto. It is about an old man who reflects on his youth. I have always tried to live my day as if I have the ability to project my self into the future and see my old self reflect on the past. If you are able to do this you can really leverage the potential of regret and satisfaction.
I imagine being old and decrepit and unable to carpe the diem like I once did. Old bones don’t move so fast like they did once in the past. Even now as I sit here and write about it a lump forms in my throat. No shit, I am actually crying.
In this scene I am sitting back in a comfy chair watching my grandchildren play in the yard. It sounds totally cliche but it is actually a rocking chair on a porch of a house in the country with a white picket fence. I look down at my hands and they are withered and speckled with age spots and wrinkled. I lean back and I sigh. The time shifted without my permission.
Then I die.
My quanta surrounds the environment with an intense focus on the gentile weeping of my children and a breeze pushes leaves across the grass. As I hover over the scene of peace and sadness I feel nothing but bliss. I cannot comprehend the pain or suffering that they feel. I am no longer a condensed entity that is forced to wander the earth that is limited by time and space. I am part of space with no time. There is no sense of regret or reflection of what could have been. There is not recollection of how it feels to have felt. Only a broad and deep energy of warmth and an overall sense of well being.
This afterlife is a place where I can only enjoy concentrating my energy, that which is attracted by only things that reflect beauty and happiness and I, if that is was I am, or am not, have returned to the before and after. I find comfort in believing this theory of what happens when we die.
I also believe that when this happens we are not held accountable for our actions in this life. Those who we leave behind will be held responsible for dimming the light that was once ours. They will be the ones who hold the candle for what is a memory. This is what those on earth call a legacy. In the after, our only reward is that which we achieve in this life. We will have an understanding of what it meant to live a life full of physical pleasure and a life of giving and contribution. We will only be able to basque in the glory of what we accomplished in this physical form. In the after we will feel the presence of those who did greater things and be attracted to the energy which perpetuates the never ending pursuit of higher levels of bliss.
We will not feel. We will not sense jealousy or want as we know here because there is nothing to obtain. There will only be a varied degree of wanting and having all at the same time. So as we want and have in this live we shall want and have in the next.
Just as the drug addict or alcoholic is in pursuit of capturing the perfect high but never quite remains in that place we will be the same in the after. Only we will not sober up or come down.
This is why it is so important to realize these three occurrences of our lives. Sunrises, Sandcastles and Sunsets.
Our most blessed gift is received when we awaken from the death at dawn. Just as our dreams are neither here nor thier so is this place the after. Each morning we are the recipients of the greatest gift. It is the ability of choice. Our motivations and inspirations are formed by echo of what was just here and now gone. This transition into the physical realm is fascinating to me. Why is it that we are unable to notice this twice daily occurrence? I try and I try to lay in bed just before I fall asleep to witness the transition into the after. I am able to be aware of the transition a bit better when I am waking up because I am bobbing in and out of this realm. From waking to sleep and holding conversations that make no sense yet for some reason are not at all confusing. Imagine if we could get the transcripts of the five minutes before we sit up in bed. Or be able to play it back on our smartphone. Yet we do not question the chaos because the pleasure of resting is so sweet, It is bliss.
When we wake up we have a choice. We make that choice with deliberate intention and purpose. The majority of the early morning openers go on auto pilot and perform thier tasks in a mundane manner. Then there are those who wake to realize that this is a gift. They write thier affirmations, they kiss thier family, they make the coffee and breakfast for the kids. They chart out the day like it’s a vacation itinerary. Although the there are events in the calendar that they must conform to they are in charge of thier day.
They welcome the sunrise as opportunity and something to be thankful for. Thier goal is to build the most beautiful sandcastle. Knowing that once the sandcastle is built there will be a fleeting moment at sunset where those close enough to see it can watch it as the star drops behind it. The next morning the tides would have wished it away.
The past is like that sandcastle. Only the memory of its being built exists in the form of and echo in our minds. It is gone in the physical realm yet it’s grains of sands still remain. They remain as an opportunity to rebuild it once again into an even greater creation. The greater the construction the greater its ability to be appreciated.
We have, every day, the choice to drop to our knees and begin digging and shaping the greatest day of our lives. Nobody but yourself remembers or cares about the sandcastle that you once built. They are too busy either building or bragging about what they once built. Some talk about the times when it was better to build. Or they are complaining about the one that they were unable to build because the bullies kicked it down. They will not help you build and they will not care when the tides wash it away. We are all stretch along an infinite shoreline and we are all doing our best to create something worth enjoying at sunset. We each have our own interpretation of what is great and we each have belief in who makes the greatest sandcastles.
This moment, right now, is the only opportunity that you have to create something of substance. This day is the only day that matters. This is the best possible world because it is the only possible world. We have a choice to make and those choices will be judged only by ourselves and our peers each day at sunset. We will be dead soon but we may even live long enough to remember a few dozen sunsets. This is what drives me. Knowing that I am getting closer to death than I was yesterday. There is an hourglass measuring our eventual demise and there is nothing I can do about it. The only thing I have is this moment. A moment filled with potential to do something great. Something worth remembering.
What will my hands build today?