Carpet­ Adhesive

I dreamt I could fly like a bird in the sky

I had gotten so high that I wanted to cry

When I landed on the ground

Took a quick look around

Today nobody will die

Tis a fine day when I am able to pray

To whomever I may

What a radical trick

No scintilla of sick

And the airs getting thick

In this state of mind what i am hoping to find

Is some time to unwind?

Dropping large pillars

On soft spongy filler

Who would have known?

That the pillars were killers

As I shout out the words, it is repeated and heard

Everyone gives a crap just when it is cured

If only I had come from the sky in the sun

Maybe then I could see that I’ve always been one

ABC’s­ of­ Drugs

A is for acid psychedelic and free

B is the bong tokes bubbling for me

C is for coke to make one go wild

D is for drugs some too strong some too mild

E is everyone should try out a drug

F is the flame that sparks up my bud

G is for good kind of grass that I get

H is for high that I am you can bet

I for the Indica the best weed around

J is my joints rolled so fat and round

K is King Cole the merry old’ soul

L is the losers who can’t keep control

M is for Mary the Juana for me

N is say no ‘cuz you’re scared, you’re a sissy

O is to shout when your resin gets clustered

P is the pusher the man that you trusted

Q is the quality I’m able to buy

R is the resting I do when I’m high

S is for Skunkweed that I like the best

T is for Tie but it’s better than sess

U is for uppers when your life is a joke

V is the vile to hold wild man’s coke

W is the wanting when it is dry as a bone

X marks the spot were the druggies get stoned

Y is the question you’re parents will shout

Z is for zoning while they are flipping out

Laughing at Adversity, from the book “Life…There’s An App for That”

You can change you state of mind from depression to bliss in an instant. That’s why drugs are so damn popular, because it’s a way of changing your state of mind without really trying. It’s a rather inexpensive way of artificially stimulating bliss. This laughter that I keep talking about a form of euphoria.

If you’re ever in the conflict are in a situation where the world is collapsing. You can literally reach over and grab your imaginary whippet has the boss is yelling at you and Telling you you’re fired. In your collapsing and falling apart and you’re ready to throw up or pass out or have an anxiety attack. Just reach over and grab your little whippet can and take a big old hit.

Yes, the application requires that you pull out your imaginary can of whipped cream, shake it, press the nozzle, and suck in all the air, and then suddenly you feel a rush and smile. You say,”hey man no problem,” and let out a little chuckle then watch as the adversities slowly melts away. I am sure the boardroom will now yell at you ask you what the hell are you doing? Just look at them like they’re completely insane. And in that thought laughter is for sure the funniest remedy.

Who knows, you could probably collect the insurance policy when the boss tells HR that you are completely insane. I use nitrous as an example but you can substitute it with an imaginary joint and a lighter. Just pull it out of your pocket and light it up and take a hit. I realize once again that this solution to a problem is rather unorthodox. However, I would rather laugh my way through adversity than cry, And besides you know this is some funny shit.