I missed out on it again. My selfishness to lay in the warm and cozy bed was to blame. Damn it! I have been having a hard time beating the sun up lately and it was not until now that I realized that I was missing out.
The opportunity to make my cup of coffee and sit with my keyboard in front of the fireplace. I put on my soft Beats Studio headphones and play some Colin Hay, the Yesterday People album. My heart begins to enter a state of flow. I have it. I recognize multiple states of flow by their overwhelming desire to create words from my feelings.
I take a deep breath and swig lukewarm water from a bottle to refresh my pallets to even further appreciate the coffee. The sun rises behind the vines and it illuminates the room from the corner of my eye. The brightness becomes too much to handle so I relocate my body. That’s better.
The brown Labrador lays on her side next to wherever I am and the white lab puppy darts around looking for playthings. Maybe a shoe. He barks as he runs to the doorway. I jump up to let him out to pee. Too late. He went on the floor. I grab a handful of paper towels and clean up the mess. I violently shove the little fucker into his cage and curse my wife for ever getting the little shit.
Yes, this is why I have to try so hard to capture the moments of singularity as it comes and as it goes within the confines of my reality. For as long as I can remember I have ritualistically made attempts at creating and environment for my genuine to flow uninterrupted. I would prepare the coffee, set the room temperature to 78 and fresh. I would make sure that my body is properly stretched and the music is just right and the lights are perfectly dim. It is in this element that I can allow my brilliance juices to flow.
I recall many times in my past where I would begin this sort of process with a 6 pack of beer and a smoke. The environment would be ideal for the greatness of my mind to expose itself in the form of art of poetry. I would be propped in front of a window looking out into the distance of some vacation destination. Whether it be the Las Vegas Strip or the Bay of Monterrey. The beach of Santa Barbara or the rivers of the Sequoia National forest I would do what I could to intoxicate my body in an efforts to bind the elemental with the mental.
I have not been a “drinker” for a year or so. It is not as if I had a drinking problem and I wanted to recover,no. I was tired of the feeling I would get soon after the drunken state. Although I was able to enter a state of flow rather easily with alcohol I was not able to fight off the terrible depression I would have several hours later. I would have a night of uninhibited drunkenness and partying into the midnight hour and the joy of the moment would mask the quantities of brain cells being slaughtered. I would eat anything I could find as I grazed like a cow along the counter bar.
Now I find that creating these moments is far too time consuming and will begin the practice of manifesting these moments in the mind rather than the environment. But it begging the moment I can beat the sunrise. I want to fall in love with that moment so that I look forward to waking up next to it and watch it as it sleeps.